Read the first page here: Realms of Fantasy – February 2005.
Archive for December, 2004|Monthly archive page
Down to the Central Valley for a week. Plan to read a couple Peter Straub paperbacks I picked up, maybe see "The Incredibles" finally, and borrow Bill Clinton’s bio from my Mom. Good holiday stuff.
I received my contributor’s copies of the February 2005 issue of Realms of Fantasy today, which contains my best story yet, "Peas and Carrots."
It is accompanied by an illustration by Peter Ferguson (and more of his work here) which captures so many elements of the story so perfectly that you will only need to read the the story to discover that you didn’t need to read it at all – just study the painting.
The issue should be on newsstands in early January. Barnes & Noble or Borders is a good place to try — generally stocked with the gaming and trading card magazines. The cover features a painting of Michael Moorcock’s Elric, but then again, if you know who Elric is, you already likely know where to find Realms of Fantasy at Borders.
Also, there’s a couple errors in my bio for the issue. The photo said to be of me, is not of me. (I’m guessing it may be of Ari Burk, the man who’s bio is right above mine.) Secondly, I didn’t attend "Clarion University in East Lansing MI." I attended Clarion (the summer writing workshop) sponsored then (as it is no longer) and held at The University of Michigan in East Lansing.
If you’re interested in writing you could do a lot worse than quitting your job and getting into this workshop. See the post directly prior to this one, which leads to information on Clarion’s fund-raising efforts as well as information on the workshop.
In January. Clarion Midnight Auction.
In the late 90′s whilst editing Houndstooth: A Journal of Thought, I was introduced to Mr. Vigor’s extraordinary wealth-building system. I hadn’t space to include his theories at the time, a disgrace I am happy to rectify here, employing the vast resources of the world-wide web. (400 words.)
I decided to apply, and sent the materials yesterday. I noticed that several markets listing on Ralan have raised their rates to 5 cents (Cemetery Dance, Flesh and Blood) and that a couple new markets (Shadows of Saturn and Lenox Ave) that are fairly new also pay 5 cents. I attribute this the SFWA and HWA raising pro rates to that level. So I decided they have done enough for me that I ought to join. Can’t join HWA because can’t really fudge enough of my pro credits to qualify as horror so I opted for SFWA. Not sure I have enough proof for them though. One of my sales is a Warner books print anthology which paid me 12 cents a word, but it came in three payments, but I only xeroxed the third check, so whatever. If they don’t want me yet, I’ll save the money.
I just bought and am loving the new Seinfeld DVDs, but am reminded of a piece I received in the late 90′s whilst editing Houndstooth: A Journal of Thought. At a very late hour I found I hadn’t the space to include Mr. D’Warhoone’s insightful review in our penultimate number. Thanks to the world-wide web, which has space for just about anything, I am now able to rectify my blunder. (975 words).
Lady into Fox by David Garnett, 1922, from McSweeney’s Collins Library Imprint.
A beautiful edition and a wonderful story about a man who stays true to the very end.
It’s Kafka with kindness.
This is the first couple paragraphs:
"Wonderful or supernatural events are not so uncommon, rather they
are irregular in their incidence. Thus there may be not one marvel to
speak of in a century, and then often enough comes a plentiful crop of
them; monsters of all sorts swarm suddenly upon the earth, comets blaze
in the sky, eclipses frighten nature, meteors fall in rain, while
mermaids and sirens beguile, and sea-serpents engulf every passing
ship, and terrible cataclysms beset humanity.
"But the strange events which I shall here relate came alone,
unsupported, without companions into a hostile world, and for that very
reason claimed little of the general attention of mankind. For the
sudden changing of Mrs. Tebrick into a vixen is an established fact
which we may attempt to account for as we will. Certainly it is in the
explanation of the fact, and the reconciling of it with our general
notions that we shall find most difficulty, and not in accepting for
true a story which is so fully proved, and that not by one witness but
by a dozen, all respectable, and with no possibility of collusion
"But here I will confine myself to an exact narrative of the event
and all that followed it. Yet I would not dissuade any of my readers
from attempting an explanation of this seeming miracle because up till
now none had been found which is entirely satisfactory. What adds to
the difficulty to my mind is that the metamorphosis occurred when Mrs.
Tebrick was a full-grown woman, and that it happen suddenly in so short
a space of time. The sprouting of a tail, the gradual extension of hair
all over the body the slow change of the whole anatomy by a process of
growth though it would have been monstrous, would not have been so
difficult to reconcile to our ordinary conceptions, particularly had it
happened in a young child.
"But here we have something very different. A grown lady is changed
straightaway into a fox. There is no explaining that away by any
natural philosophy. The materialism of our age will not help us here …"
According the introduction by Paul Collins, Garnett’s 2nd book was called A Man in the Zoo, about a gentleman who, finding the London Zoo has no example of homo sapiens on exhibit, offers himself up. I don’t know if that’s in print but I’d like to check that one out too.
Read Michael Chabon’s "The Final Solution" yesterday. I enjoyed it, but couldn’t help wondering if some other author, say Laurie R. King, would have had the opportunity to publish a Holmes pastiche in the Paris Review as this novella originally was published. However, this piece is true interstitial fiction in that it violates the rules of detective fiction by leaving one great
mystery of the story unsolved. Unsolved by the characters, that is. I
thought this was rather magical … [huge spoiler coming]
Now that I’ve upgraded to 1.5mb DSL (from their former maximum service of 640k) I do notice a difference in speed. I tested it by downloading one of those short movies that Amazon produces.
The big 75mb file took about thirty minutes at my old setup and only about 14 minutes under the new.
Now I can download ham-fisted, pretentious, simplistic, message-cinema crammed full of product placements in half the time. Life is good.
I liked Blair Underwood’s acting though. His face is intensely expressive. Another film, the orange one, is visually interesting. The Tooth Fairy one, and the wish-fullfillment one with Minnie Driver, are, respectively, trivial and ineptly-exectuted. Probably my favorite thing about the whole series are the credits scrolling at the end. The credits seem to run about a third the length of the actual movie. The first name on the credits is the lead actor, the next ten or twelve names are of the companies and their products that were featured. Then comes the names of the other actors.
Funny 600 word piece written by Bertrand Russell in 1937. Still works today, might even be working more easily.
Email account is fixed, with the full apology of the
fine folks at Qwest. The person who revised my service package didn’t know what she was doing. I can’t be too angry at her though. I’ve worked in call centers. The person on the phone, whom you’d think the company would want to be among the first to know about promos, often finds out about them for the first time after a customer calls in response to something marketing has sent out. It probably seems unbelievable to someone who has never worked in the phone service industry, but trust me, it happens all the time. Someone dreams up a new strategy, a new product, and no one tells the people who actually work with the customers. It happens all the time. All the time. No joke.
My qwest email address (firstname.lastname@example.org)
is down, and will be down till Monday. is back up. Any emails sent to that account between 8pm 12/2/04 and 8pm 12/4/04 are lost forever. I recently upgraded my service at their urging, and was promised nothing would change beyond doubling speed. Instead they deleted my email account. I can always be reached at
hate tolerate the phone company.
Find links to all my available free fiction through this archive category: Free Fiction