Today I got something at Safeway called grapples. Apples that taste like grapes. It did not ask where they keep the Alpes, or the Apes, or whatever they are calling the grapes that taste like apples. But grapples don’t taste like grapes. They do smell like grapes. And then it’s apples again while they go down. You’re left with a grapey aftertaste. Well, more like your throat’s been coated with undiluted Welch’s grape juice concentrate, but it’s a start.