Shatner stumbles in Captain’s Glory, print media’s 920th attempt to adapt Denny Crane’s previous incarnation from the screen. I have not read the book, for to do so would only influence my opinion and therefore pollute the journalistic integrity of this review. I am more interested in knowing who does read these books, as I have never met anyone who has, nor have I met anyone who has met anyone who has. And to what end are they read? Other questions, just as frightening, come to mind. Why are there no T.J. Hooker novels? There are Diagnosis Murder novels, there are Murder, She Wrote novels, as a child my nephew owned not one, but two Man from U.N.C.L.E. novels – both in German. Or, more provocatively yet, what if there are T.J. Hooker novels, only to be systematically hidden from me? The implications are mind-boggling. I have not been paid yet for my previous review so the conscience of capitalism compels I cut this one to the quick. – Garland D’Warhoone
The Right Reverend Deacon Dr. D’Warhoone asks that copies of T.J. Hooker novels to be considered for review be sent to: The-Narrows-off-Old-Bottom-Farm Road, Blueville, Pancake Dinner Mountain, Oklahoma.