The truth about getting customer service help via email.

Here’s part of post I did on Facebook that some people might find useful. Ever get frustrated trying to deal with a company’s email complain system? Here’s a general email of how they work. There’s less need to get frustrated if you know the game they are playing (and why — which is because they don’t want to hire enough people to do the job decently), it takes patience but you almost always get your way. Not kidding about that.

SInce I did this kind of work for months, I know what a bullshit system it is, some I’m prepared. You will never get an answer on the first try. They will send a generic response to answers common questions. That will be useless, because you are a smart person who has tried all that obvious stuff yourself. So you write back. It always helps to be polite, but really, at this stage it doesn’t matter if you are rude or not, because there’s a high likelihood your second email will be answer by an algorithm too. Even if not, the person reading your rate will just paste in the apology scripting and then follow that with the scripting most likely to fit your actual issue. They don’t have time to get upset or sabotage you because they will have a quota that’s impossible to manage by doing anything more than very cursorily skimming for the real issue.

(They started me with a quota of 100 emails a day, when I met that they raised it. And they raised it again. I met that. And again. The only way to get faster is to start taking shortcuts, like for instance, don’t bother trying to access your analytical skills, or really any higher brain functions. Cut and paste, just cut and paste. They would glare at you when you went to take a piss because you’re not going to answer very many emails standing at a urinal, are you? And I met that goal and they raised it again. To 350 email responses in a 7.5 hour shift. (Now, let it be known, that in the two years I worked as a temp for them, both as a phone rep then an email rep, I never received one single raise. I was never offered permanent employment or benefits. I never got a paid holiday. I never got a paid sick day, until Seattle made that illegal. When my new goal of 350 was assigned, I went in and gave her my notice. Enough is enough.).

Anyway, back to the help-y part So this 2nd response will also be useless, most likely, but your next email will likely get answered by a higher-tiered person, who is allowed more flexibility. You keep going up the chain until you get a clear answer, or they give in just to get rid of your. Or until some vice president gets sick of you and bans you from the site, but that only happened once in two years at the place I worked. The thing is, usually unless there is a legal issue, must company guidelines are fake. Only the underlings are required to try and stick to them. Some supervisors, most Directors, and almost all Vice-President can do what ever the fuck they want with the guidelines. Most of the time they just want to get rid of you, and have you not trash them online or to the BBB. All online businesses use email filtering systems like this, because they believe it is cost effective.

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